A state of equilibrium or equipoise; equal distribution of weight, amount, etc.

Everytime I pick up my books and pencils to study, I realize that I don't even really start studying until maybe 4 hours later. I hate how I can't get myself to study, even though I know I really need to. Procrastination at it's best. Even though my study habits continue to deprove, I'm beginning to balance out my social life among different friends.

I love it when people call me to eat, or call me and say "We need to catch up..." something along those lines. (How can I spend HOURS talking to someone, but to other people I just have nothing to say?) It makes me feel needed, like I serve some sort of purpose in this world. But, I still have regrets for next year and it's something I'll have to live with. Just like my scarred wrist, my scarred gpa, my messed up highschool life, and a disease I'll carry with me forever until it decides to awaken and kill me. How dramatic that sounded =].

Although it's only winter quarter, it feels as if school is already going too fast. The year is almost over and I havn't accomplished anything I can be 100% proud of with no regrets. I've finally become more social, but I'm not exactly sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Still in hope of searching for that one perfect friend, trying to keep new years resolutions, trying to change myself into a better person in general, practice what I love, and just be the best that I can.